DVF Woman Jacyina Almond
Jaycina Almond
Not Like a Regular Mom
People are always asking full-time moms what their identity is outside of mom-ing, but for Jaycina Almond, model and founder of Tender, the answer is not that simple.
“It just makes me wonder why I have to be something specifically outside of being a mom? It’s not like most moms get to have separate lives where they’re not someone’s mom. Even if I didn’t have all of these achievements, accolades, yadda-yadda, I would still be happy with ‘just being a mom’ and giving 100% of myself there.”
The achievements Jaycina is referring to include her modeling career and being the founder of Tender, a non-profit organization that supports moms in Atlanta through providing diapers, wipes, direct transfers to cover financial gaps, and general aid. What makes Tender unique as a non-profit organization is that Jaycina’s direction is informed by lived experience. Growing up her mother often worked three jobs at a time to support her daughters.
“I’m the oldest of three and up until I was seven or eight, my mom was a single parent and had worked two to three jobs my whole life. She cleaned my aunt's office building as her third job and after school, my little sister and I would be in the building running around and helping her clean. As a kid, you know it’s not normal to see your mom working so much but you don’t know how excessive it is. In the media we consume there’s always a two-parent household and a white picket fence so, comparatively, I knew it wasn’t exactly typical but it was the only reality we had.
Not Like a Regular Mom
People are always asking full-time moms what their identity is outside of mom-ing, but for Jaycina Almond, model and founder of Tender, the answer is not that simple.
“It just makes me wonder why I have to be something specifically outside of being a mom? It’s not like most moms get to have separate lives where they’re not someone’s mom. Even if I didn’t have all of these achievements, accolades, yadda-yadda, I would still be happy with ‘just being a mom’ and giving 100% of myself there.”
The achievements Jaycina is referring to include her modeling career and being the founder of Tender, a non-profit organization that supports moms in Atlanta through providing diapers, wipes, direct transfers to cover financial gaps, and general aid. What makes Tender unique as a non-profit organization is that Jaycina’s direction is informed by lived experience. Growing up her mother often worked three jobs at a time to support her daughters.
“If I see you that way, with love, I must let your grief into my heart, your story into my heart, I must stand up for you when you’re in harm’s way. What happens when we see George Floyd as our brother, or Breonna as a sister, migrant children as our own sons and daughters—what would we risk?”
"I wish that I had recognized my mom’s humanity when I was younger. It wasn’t until I had my daughter that I realized how hard she worked. With Syx, if I had a long day and didn't feel like cooking, I could order dinner, but my mom worked three jobs and still managed to make dinner every night because she didn’t have that option. Now when I reflect on my childhood, I’m just like ‘How did she manage this?’”
When Jaycina was eight, her mom met her stepdad and stayed with him for 10 years. Her stepdad was abusive and Jaycina’s mom, like many domestic abuse survivors, stayed in the relationship because she didn’t feel like she had any other option. At 18, Jaycina and her family gathered their belongings and managed to escape the situation. This experience is something she has woven into Tender’s approach in helping disadvantaged mothers, making the assistance more informed and therefore more effective.
“When you share some of the same lived experiences with people that you’re working with, it helps you empathize and make better decisions. When women come to us and don’t have access to, say, their social security card or their ID, I know what that feels like. Navigating the system and trying to receive help can be a pretty dehumanizing process, there’s so much red tape. Your lease has to be under your name, you have to have your ID and your kid’s social security card, and it’s not always possible to get that.”
“I’m the oldest of three and up until I was seven or eight, my mom was a single parent and had worked two to three jobs my whole life. She cleaned my aunt's office building as her third job and after school, my little sister and I would be in the building running around and helping her clean. As a kid, you know it’s not normal to see your mom working so much but you don’t know how excessive it is. In the media we consume there’s always a two-parent household and a white picket fence so, comparatively, I knew it wasn’t exactly typical but it was the only reality we had.
"I wish that I had recognized my mom’s humanity when I was younger. It wasn’t until I had my daughter that I realized how hard she worked. With Syx, if I had a long day and didn't feel like cooking, I could order dinner, but my mom worked three jobs and still managed to make dinner every night because she didn’t have that option. Now when I reflect on my childhood, I’m just like ‘How did she manage this?’”
When Jaycina was eight, her mom met her stepdad and stayed with him for 10 years. Her stepdad was abusive and Jaycina’s mom, like many domestic abuse survivors, stayed in the relationship because she didn’t feel like she had any other option. At 18, Jaycina and her family gathered their belongings and managed to escape the situation. This experience is something she has woven into Tender’s approach in helping disadvantaged mothers, making the assistance more informed and therefore more effective.
“When you share some of the same lived experiences with people that you’re working with, it helps you empathize and make better decisions. When women come to us and don’t have access to, say, their social security card or their ID, I know what that feels like. Navigating the system and trying to receive help can be a pretty dehumanizing process, there’s so much red tape. Your lease has to be under your name, you have to have your ID and your kid’s social security card, and it’s not always possible to get that.”
"For example, we had a mom come from an abusive situation, and their partner was holding onto the family's social security cards just to keep them from receiving help. It’s so easy for abusers to manipulate the system to their advantage, yet it’s so hard for the abused to get help. When you share a lived experience, you are better equipped to meet your client where they’re at. In a situation like that, we’ll find a workaround. But if you’re applying for an EBT card or state health insurance, there’s no way around that, there’s no empathy for folks in those situations. I think that’s why Tender has been successful, to put it that way, in actually being able to help people.”
"For example, we had a mom come from an abusive situation, and their partner was holding onto the family's social security cards just to keep them from receiving help. It’s so easy for abusers to manipulate the system to their advantage, yet it’s so hard for the abused to get help. When you share a lived experience, you are better equipped to meet your client where they’re at. In a situation like that, we’ll find a workaround. But if you’re applying for an EBT card or state health insurance, there’s no way around that, there’s no empathy for folks in those situations. I think that’s why Tender has been successful, to put it that way, in actually being able to help people.”
This idea of summoning ancestors is more accessible than one would think. Valarie channels the energy of her grandfather, a biological ancestor, but she also sits at the feet of Black thinkers like Dr. King, James Baldwin, Audre Lorde, and bell hooks.
While most organizations have eligibility requirements, Jaycina believes that simply having to search for a diaper bank form online should make one automatically eligible to receive help. Tender was an idea Jaycina had while she was pregnant. Originally, it was supposed to be a subscription service that provided a thoughtful box of gifts and mementos tailored to each trimester of a woman’s pregnancy. It was conceived as a way to help single moms feel supported while they were expecting. The catch (a positive one) was that for every box sold, a box of diapers and wipes would be donated to a family in need. Jaycina set up a website, sourced packaging, ordered inventory, and had it ready to launch, but realized she was focusing most of her time on the diapers and wipes as opposed to the actual subscription boxes. She explains, “I knew I wasn’t going to care about the actual boxes as much as I did about the diapers and wipes, so I didn’t launch it. I was like ‘Well if this is what excites me, what can I grow from here?’ and that’s how Tender, as it is today, was born.”
Jaycina was 20 years old when she became pregnant with her daughter, Syx, and founded Tender. Before that, she worked at American Apparel, surrounded by creative friends and coworkers, and attended impromptu photoshoots regularly. When she left home at 18, she also left college—for her, modeling felt like a gateway into more creative work. But it was only after Syx was born that Jaycina attended an open call for a modeling agency in Atlanta.
“I was 20, I worked in a store, and I rode the bus. Being single during my pregnancy and a Black woman, there’s already that 'welfare mom' stereotype, and I felt a lot of deep-rooted shame and stigma around that. On the other side of that coin, being young and an inter-millennial person, I had a sort of ‘fuck it’ attitude. Since all of my friends were my age and some of them were moms too, I didn’t care. I mean, obviously, when I was lying in bed at night staring at the ceiling, I did care, but I didn’t let it hinder me. When I saw the open call, I thought the worst they could say was ‘no’, so I went, I got signed, and I’ve been working professionally since Syx was 9 months old.
Jaycina was 20 years old when she became pregnant with her daughter, Syx, and founded Tender. Before that, she worked at American Apparel, surrounded by creative friends and coworkers, and attended impromptu photoshoots regularly. When she left home at 18, she also left college—for her, modeling felt like a gateway into more creative work. But it was only after Syx was born that Jaycina attended an open call for a modeling agency in Atlanta.
“I was 20, I worked in a store, and I rode the bus. Being single during my pregnancy and a Black woman, there’s already that 'welfare mom' stereotype, and I felt a lot of deep-rooted shame and stigma around that. On the other side of that coin, being young and an inter-millennial person, I had a sort of ‘fuck it’ attitude. Since all of my friends were my age and some of them were moms too, I didn’t care. I mean, obviously, when I was lying in bed at night staring at the ceiling, I did care, but I didn’t let it hinder me. When I saw the open call, I thought the worst they could say was ‘no’, so I went, I got signed, and I’ve been working professionally since Syx was 9 months old.
"Starting out, girls wouldn’t disclose that they had a kid because the industry was wary of employing moms. That wasn't an option since I breastfed and brought Syx everywhere—castings, trips, music festivals. At the time, the renaissance of the breastfeeding and natural birth movement was starting to gain traction, so my take-it-or-leave-it attitude kind of worked for me. Most of my first jobs were for brands that were hip to that movement and Syx was actually in a few of those campaigns. It was the right timing.”
The coincidence of these movements and Jaycina’s parenting decisions shouldn’t discount the resolve she had at just 20 years old. If anything is clear, it’s that Jaycina’s values won’t waver for any company or paycheck. She credits this steadfastness to her perfectionist nature. During her pregnancy, she read all the books she could get her hands on to reach a parenting approach that felt right for her. Once she was confident in her plan, she stuck to it.
This idea of summoning ancestors is more accessible than one would think. Valarie channels the energy of her grandfather, a biological ancestor, but she also sits at the feet of Black thinkers like Dr. King, James Baldwin, Audre Lorde, and bell hooks.
The coincidence of these movements and Jaycina’s parenting decisions shouldn’t discount the resolve she had at just 20 years old. If anything is clear, it’s that Jaycina’s values won’t waver for any company or paycheck. She credits this steadfastness to her perfectionist nature. During her pregnancy, she read all the books she could get her hands on to reach a parenting approach that felt right for her. Once she was confident in her plan, she stuck to it.
“You hear so much from the outside world about what’s wrong, what’s right, what you should do, but once you’ve read 80 million scholarly journals and books about parenting, you have the confidence that your choices are well-informed. Having that at 20 made all the difference. Of course, you can always go down the ‘mom guilt’ tunnel, but I ultimately made the right decision with the tools and knowledge that I had at the time,” she says. “At this age, she’s always around me. I’ll be taking calls and she’s on my lap, but it’s the little wins. Like, I’ve recently been able to enjoy the occasional shower alone. When they're four, they want to show you everything and talk to you so it’s important to be there for them.”
“You hear so much from the outside world about what’s wrong, what’s right, what you should do, but once you’ve read 80 million scholarly journals and books about parenting, you have the confidence that your choices are well-informed. Having that at 20 made all the difference. Of course, you can always go down the ‘mom guilt’ tunnel, but I ultimately made the right decision with the tools and knowledge that I had at the time,” she says. “At this age, she’s always around me. I’ll be taking calls and she’s on my lap, but it’s the little wins. Like, I’ve recently been able to enjoy the occasional shower alone. When they're four, they want to show you everything and talk to you so it’s important to be there for them.”
At one point during our chat, Syx needed some assistance to go potty and we caught a glimpse of her in a lion costume which led Jaycina to explain that they were headed to the library after our call to learn about big cats. Currently, Jaycina is homeschooling her daughter with a method rooted in following her curiosities and interests. Syx is very into The Lion King and wild animals, so Jaycina is taking the opportunity to teach her about the animal kingdom and its ecosystem. In the process, Jaycina is learning new things herself.
"It’s a privilege to be able to prioritize raising Syx so closely and to have creative pursuits. A lot of moms just don’t have the time to be around their kids for so long or dedicate time to their passions. Or even think about their passions. The moms we work with are overwhelmed with making ends meet. With Tender, we hope to give them that room to breathe."
Tender has helped 71 moms in 2021 and 78 in 2020, totaling 149 families who have been positively impacted by Jaycina’s work through the organization. At the moment, they’re focusing on gap assistance which provides a financial band-aid of sorts in case an emergency comes up—the electric bill was unexpectedly high or a mom had to miss a few days of work because she was sick so the paycheck came a bit short—things that create a bit of a domino effect if they’re not taken care of immediately. Tender provides direct payments to help mitigate the long-term implications of those situations. Seeing the ubiquity of families caught in cycles of playing catch up with rent and bills, Jaycina’s new goal for Tender is to set up a long-term program that provides monthly direct transfers for up to a year.
The success of Tender has prompted organizations throughout the country to request that she set up Tender in different cities. What matters most to Jaycina, though, is to tighten up her current model, curate a robust team, and get everything running smoothly with the moms she’s helping now. As Jaycina says, “When you take care of moms, you take care of kids.”
Tender has helped 71 moms in 2021 and 78 in 2020, totaling 149 families who have been positively impacted by Jaycina’s work through the organization. At the moment, they’re focusing on gap assistance which provides a financial band-aid of sorts in case an emergency comes up—the electric bill was unexpectedly high or a mom had to miss a few days of work because she was sick so the paycheck came a bit short—things that create a bit of a domino effect if they’re not taken care of immediately. Tender provides direct payments to help mitigate the long-term implications of those situations. Seeing the ubiquity of families caught in cycles of playing catch up with rent and bills, Jaycina’s new goal for Tender is to set up a long-term program that provides monthly direct transfers for up to a year.
The success of Tender has prompted organizations throughout the country to request that she set up Tender in different cities. What matters most to Jaycina, though, is to tighten up her current model, curate a robust team, and get everything running smoothly with the moms she’s helping now. As Jaycina says, “When you take care of moms, you take care of kids.”
Support moms in Atlanta through Tender's donation page and give them a follow on IG here. To keep up with Jaycina and Syx, follow her on IG here.
The photographer for this feature was Piera Moore, check out their work!